The Norwegian Confirmation - A Family Celebration Like No Other

Last May (2025) Millie (Emilia) my middle child was confirmed in a traditional way here in Norway. As I am often asked about normal everyday life I thought it would be nice to share a little about the time leading up to the confirmation day and the day itself and the traditions around confirmations in Norway.

So I invite you to join me and my family for a glimpse into the special day of the Norwegian "konfirmant".

When children in Norway reach the year of their 15th birthday they are given the option to have a confirmation. In many cultures this means being confirmed into the Christian church and most children here in Norway do that. It's a rite of passage and something that has been done for hundreds of years. It marks the transition from childhood to adulthood even though legally they are still considered children.

As Norway has become more and more secular and there are so many different religions here, traditional church confirmations were not the only way a teenager can take part. There are now civil options taking place in the town hall and no less serious or important. So it no longer matters what religion you are (or not) you don't have to miss out on this so very typical Norwegian rite of passage.

A confirmation might seem like a event that takes place on one day, but the ceremony is not really the confirmation itself. For weeks and weeks before, the teenagers have been attending lessons to learn how to be responsible adults, how to behave in society and how to begin to navigate the adult world. Topics include acceptance of different walks of life, understanding of adult responsibilities and general good behaviour to prepare then for a life in a society that needs everyone to take responsibility for their own actions and work towards a better future for all.

Although we would call ourselves Christian and all my nieces and nephews had church confirmations we are not practicing church goers. To be confirmed in church in Norway you have to be part of the Norwegian church (something which babies are automatically made part of when they are born in Norway. In order to not be part of the Norwegian you have to actively ask to be removed. Strange but true). Millie was born in England and had never been a member of the Norwegian church and felt more comfortable having a secular confirmation.

So once a week for 10 weeks before the date of the ceremony she attended confirmation classes with other 14 and 15 year olds who were also being confirmed on the same date. They learned together about how to be a good citizen and what it means to have a responsible part in modern society. There is no choice of date for the ceremony. You are given a date for the ceremony and you have to make that work. It's usually in May or June when the weather is beautiful and you can spill outside for your celebration. However parents of 14 years olds will have been preparing for some time, so it's never a surprise.

The day starts with the konfirmants gathering either at church or the town hall. It's customary to wear either bunad (Norwegian national dress) or something really smart like a suit and tie or formal dress. All the guests are similarly dressed and it's really impressive to see so many beautiful traditional outfits from all over Norway.

The ceremony takes about an hour and each konfirmant comes forward to accept their certificate to say they completed the confirmation course and are now confirmed. They sing a song together and we take a moment to congratulate them on their journey into the adult world.

Once the cermony is over it feels much more relaxed. People wander outside and mingle a little bit. Photographs are taken (lots of photographs!) and people catch up with one another (often seeing friends who's children are being confirmed at the same time). It feels festive and joyful wth lots of happy faces and proud families.

The day continues with a family celebration either at home, in a village hall or at a hotel. We decided to host the celebration at home. Or at least that was the plan! The week before my dad had fallen really ill and Millie and I travelled to England to be with my mum whilst Dad was in hospital. The confirmation was booked for 11 May and we flew home on 9 May to prepare. Because it was so stressful, my sister-in-law Bente and her husband Ole offered to host the party at their house. I was so grateful and their house is absolutely beautiful and perfetc for hosting.

When we arrived to set up they had done the most incredible job and it all looked amazing. All we had to do was add some decor and sort out the buffet. Millie decided that she wanted a colour scheme of red and black. We made a compromise on the white tablecloths!!!

(If you are wondering, my Dad didn't get better. He died in the very early hours of 12 May. It seemed almost like he had held out until the day after Millie's confirmation).

After everyone has gathered together and made their way from the church to home it's fun and informal. Time is taken to chat and catch up, the konfirmant is given gifts and we start to put a buffet together. Confirmation gifts are most usually money which the konfirmant can use for things like a moped, driving lessons or a new PC. It can accumulate to quite a lot of money. Parents give the most, followed by grandparents and siblings, then aunts and uncles, cousins, friends and even neighbours. In 2025, the average amount each konfirmant received was 28000kr or about $2800.

I had done quite a bit of preparation the day before and my sisters-in-law had helped out with some delicious salads. Most celebration buffets in Norway seem to have the same format - dressed salads of various sorts, charcuterie, cheese and bread. It might look like it would not be terribly filling, but everyone goes back for seconds and thirds and it's a chance to have a relaxed and informal buffet where everyone can choose their favourite dishes. Millie's special request for food was her Tante Lise's potato salad! And of course it's followed by plenty of coffee and the extensive cake table.

Simple food can be really beautiful with some careful presentation. We made a point of going to our favourite butcher for his homemade hams and salamis and filled it out with freshly made salads of every kind, fresh bread from the baker and simple luxuries like really good butter and artisan cheese.

Millie wanted her colours to be red and black. Yes it is possible to make black macarons!!

Every konfirmant wants a pretty cake. Often they are topped with a photo but we decided to keep it simple. Millie's cake was a classic sponge filled with fruit and cream and covered in marzipan. It's a favourite in Norway.

The cake table is the finale to the day and something everyone looks forward to and takes their time over.

The day concludes with everyone saying their farewells and leaving the konfirmant to finally take a breath as the family clears up.

With many families the festivities continue the following day with friends and neighbours calling in. The buffet is refreshed and brought out and everyone helps to finish it. Never let it be said that Norwegians don't overcater!!!

The day is one to be remembered for the whole family and it's a time for celebration, joy and looking forward.