How to Travel With Autistic Children

If you are a regular reader here, a listener to my podcast or a friend in the Living a Nordic Life Facebook group, you may know that my three children are all autistic. They range in age from 17 years old, 15 years old and 8 years old and they all have high functioning autism (what used to be called Asperger's). Navigating a world that is designed for neurotypical people (the rest of us) is tough on them and it can feel as parents that it's safer (not to mention easier!) to stay at home because the hassle and work of trying to travel can be too much. However this is not the philosophy of me and my husband. We want our kids to explore the world like everyone but we also know we can't do it the same way as everyone else. We can't simply pack a bag, grab our passports and go. We need to plan, prepare everyone and anticipate potential pitfalls. And by doing this we make it fun, relaxed and let our kids do the things that everyone else takes for granted.

If you are considering travelling with your autistic children (or simply wonder what its like to travel with autistic kids) let me share some of the ways over our 17 years of parenting that we have learnt to be able to leave the house without it turning into a circus or 3 synchronised meltdowns. And hopefully I can encourage you to take that step and get out into the world.

Plan ahead

This is the biggest thing with autistic children. They need structure and they need to know what is going to happen. Surprises don't work. Give them lists. Talk about the journey to make it less frightening and be prepared for a gazillion questions. But also try not to overwhelm them with too much information. My girls like to have several days to process everything. On day one we give them the information, day 2 to process, day 3 to ask questions and sit with the information. This always works for us and reduces the risk of meltdowns from unexpected events.

We pack the car the night before we travel and everyone gets their travel outfit ready. This avoids the possibility of not having the right socks or the favourite pair of trousers not being clean!

Make frequent stops

Factor in that extra time and plan stops if you can. Take some time to do a little research so that you know what to expect and you can choose rest stops that are the best fit for your family. I like places that are easy to park, quiet with nice clean toilets facilities. Food choices can be an option. My youngest daughter has an autism related eating disorder too (something called ARFID - avoidance restrictive food intake disorder) so we always make sure we have a selection of her "safe" food with us. Occasionally she'll surprise us and do something crazy like wanting to try a new food! Sites like Tripadvisor even have reviews of motorway and roadside rest areas, so make use of other people's experience's where you can.

Make time for nature

When my kids are at the absolute limit of what they can endure nature is our saviour. Even roadtrips and travel can include the calming benefits of nature in some form or another. This might mean finding stillness in a park or a lake or a patch of woodland or meadow. But nature calms everyone down.

On one roadtrip we had the journey from hell and as we travelled into Germany the temperature got higher and higher until it reached nearly 40⁰C and everyone was starting to have enough. I knew that checking into our AirBnB would be crazy so I searched online for a lake nearby to cool off and relax. We found the most amazing landscaped lake with sandy beaches and expansive space. The kids were released into the wild and went straight into the water. Meltdowns averted and everyone felt so much better to be out in the fresh air even if it was hot!

Choose accommodation that is quiet

City centre hotels might work for you but for my autistic kids the happiest accommodation is always in a quiet location. After a busy day travelling a quiet Airbnb or hotel is perfect for decompressing. I always choose somewhere with parking close by or onsite and plenty of outdoor space either in the form of a garden or a park close by. If there are walking routes or a nature reserve close by that is even better. It might mean that to explore a nearby town or city means taking a car drive (or the fun of a bus ride) but it's worth it to be able to get a good nights sleep and wake in the morning to calm and peace.

Choose healthy snacks

It's tempting to grab a few biscuits and sweets but refined sugar makes us grumpy the next day so at least chuck in a few healthy treats as well like some chopped apple, carrot sticks or berries. Do stick to safe foods (if you child has food avoidance) though because a trip is not the time to experiment with new foods unless you want a total meltdown!

Make sure everyone has an activity

Even simple activities can be wonderfully distracting and help keep everyone occupied. Maybe your autistic little one has a special interest (or obsession) and you can turn that into an activity that will keep them engaged for long periods of time. I am so sorry to say this but this is where phones and tablets come into their own. There are plenty of games and activities online that will make long journeys and the boring bits much more tolerable. Audio books or music on Spotify will keep everyone happy for longer periods of time so that you can concentrate on driving or allowing some quiet time whilst flying or waiting for your next leg of the journey.

Be flexible

Remember that not everything goes to plan. It's OK. Life is not perfect and we are allowed to be a bit flexible. Maybe you don't leave in the morning at the time you expected. Or maybe you take a longer break than you thought you would. Be flexible and allow yourself the freedom to make changes if you have to. Take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other. You will get there with a bit of calm.

If possible book special assistance

Special assistance is great at airports where sensory overload can be brutal. From the special assistance desk someone will take you through a dedicated gate at security, help you onto the plane, navigate the busy areas and the same at your arrival airport. The Sunflower Lanyard scheme is wonderful for this. You don't need to prove a disability (although it helps) and you simply wear the lanyard so that those around (especially staff) can easily identify you as someone who needs a little bit of extra help. You need to book special assistance at least a couple of days before you fly and usually through your airline. Having discovered Sunflower Lanyards and special assistance I would never expect my children to travel without it again. It's definitely a gamechanger and it means as parents we can take a breath and allow someone else to expertly guide us through the chaos so that we at least arrive feeling human.

Travelling with kids generally is never stress free and we are allowed to feel a little overwhelmed at times. It's not going to be perfect and that is OK but my hope is that this gives you some hope and inspiration to take those steps and et out into the world with your autistic children and allow them to experience some of the things ipeers are also enjoying.